Recent Entries

Current Mood: anxious
Current Location: my room.
Current Music: Big Band - Breathe

Entry tags:

Getting ready for the 1st.

Okay, so I'm getting ready for the 1st by putting together some goals, talking about the main parts of my body I hope to change, and posting some pictures to archive my current size and looks.

So I will start with some information:
I am 5'7 1/2" tall, my ideal weight is 140lbs. This means I need to loose 180lbs. That is a tall order right there.. But I hope to take it in steps with the goals I set to help me along! So, I will now post a few recent pictures to give you all an idea of my body shape and the way my weight distributes.
( Photos )
As you can see.. I am not HUGE in the belly, despite my weight... Or at least I'm good at hiding some of it? Either way.. I definitely want to drop my waist size and loose the double chin and some of the weight in my thighs. I would really like to bring my waist size down to a 32, but 34-38 is really more realistic for my body type, most likely. So.. I think we get the idea of what I'm looking like so far.. On to other things.

I have some things that I know I need to cut out of my life in order to eat and drink better.. A list!

1: Sodas... these will be treats only, once every week or less! And only if I've done really good with my calorie intake thus far. I will also switch to better sodas when I do drink them.. I will avoid the ones that are exceptionally high in sugars and stick to the 'zero' style drinks.

2: Work food: Stop making meals at work. They are never good for you and can wreck any diet..

3: No candy and fattening snacks. I'm not actually a big candy person, so no issue there... And I prefer healthier chips like Sunchips and baked ones.. but I will still cut them down to more of a treat than anything else.

4: Review current shopping methods and cut impulse items that may not be healthy.

So I will write more soon. I will put my goal/reward list on a different post so that I can keep it bumped to the top.

Current Mood: determined

Entry tags:

Kicking bad habits and putting my nose to the grind stone.

Well, the New Year is right around the corner.. So much to look forward to! Tax season, FWA 2010, and the big one... dropping pounds! I'm prepared to make some major changes for the sake of health and happiness! This blog is going to become a log of my daily work, calorie intake, and workout plan. I will keep up with weight, ups or downs, as well as dress size, if I remember, haha.

I have planned some rewards for myself along my journey.. things that I want to buy, mostly clothes, but I either cannot get in my size, or know won't look good on me at this weight. I will make a list of those rewards and the goals I must achieve to get each one, marking it off as I make that mile stone. Some of them might seem like simple goals.. but I need the motivation to get me moving, a few early prizes to help me get started, if you will.

I plan to start this with the coming new year.. I want to enjoy my sugar cookies before I have to pack away the holiday treats and get down to business. I'll try to have my goal/prize list done before that, and will pick up a floor scale on my next paycheck.

Current Mood: enthralled

Entry tags:

happy,
youtube

A new day

Today is a new day. A REAL new day. I'm a new person and so is my S/O. We are starting fresh, clean slates. Let go of all the BS and the past that has made us bitter and disgusted with so much in our lives. I'm so happy and so relieved. My world might be changing for the better. I sure hope so. I want to share a nice song with you all too.. Not something I will make a habit here on my DW. Please enjoy though.

Current Mood: sick

Entry tags:

sick,
work

Nearly passed out.

Well, I had to work today and we had a huge number of orders for the end of school parties and all that. I've already been sick the last few days and so I didn't fair so well at work today. I nearly passed out on two occasions. Everyone's voices grew faint and all I could hear were the sounds of the fans turning, oh so loudly, as if they were inside my very ears. I had been sweating rivers since arriving and was quickly becoming dehydrated. It didn't help that I'd not eaten or drank anything at all today.
Finally my boss realized that there was no way in hell I could keep up with the pace we were moving, thus he sent me to the back to sit down in front of the fan and brought me a bottle of water, which I appreciated more than anything. I got up a few times to help do a little but am still not up to par. My boss let me go home once we finished the school orders, I was supposed to work until 8:00, but he just sent me home. I am going back to bed soon, I can't seem to shake these shivers and it's driving me insane. I will be so glad when this mess has run it's course.

Current Mood: groggy
Current Location: My room
Current Music: Do you hear what I hear? - Andy Williams

Entry tags:

Too hot, too cold.

Well, I knew I'd wake up a couple times in the night, I always do when I am sick. Right now I am posting while I wait for the room to cool off. I was running my heater when I went to sleep originally because I was freezing, well now I'm burning up. This always happens to me when I am sick, I will be freezing or burning up and it flips on and off like a light switch.
I wish my room mates would stop trying to 'help' so much. I was keeping all those Taco Bell napkins for a reason.. Cause you know, I don't get paid till Friday and everyone in the house uses my fucking toilette paper. I swear I'm the only one who buys the stuff. So anyway I guess she threw them away or whatever. I will be glad when they get their own router or internet connection or whatever so that they will stay out of my room. I hate coming home and having to shoo people out of my room before I can go to sleep or check my e-mail or whatever. There is always some excuse why they cannot just get up and go too, they have to finish this, or finish that, or something or the other. I don't want to deal with this shit, especially when I am sick like I am right now.

I've been listening to the Christmas Classics station on AOL Radio. It makes me miss Canada even more. I want SNOW! Christmas isn't Christmas without snow to me. It's just wet and rainy and dreary here and it makes me miserable. My characters at least poke me with their muses when I listen to these songs, wanting me to draw winter themed art.. I'll probably try that when I have some free time. I really want to draw Vaga dressed in big furs, riding a horse out from his castle.. Something set in the past, possibly delivering gifts to the common rabble? I dunno, these are just visions they force on me while I lay in the bed.
I also see Lazer as a cub, sitting in the lap of some other fur figure that I can't see clearly at this time, in front of a fireplace, a big Christmas tree close by, lights twinkling and ornaments shining. These are just ideas I have, or things they want me to draw, whatever way you want to put it.

Anyway, I suppose I should climb back into bed now that the room has cooled off a little and I don't feel so barfy.

Current Mood: cold
Current Location: My room, shivering
Current Music: My pounding head

Entry tags:

Just another day in the life of the sick and miserable.

After I went back to bed shortly after 6:20, with a shot of niquil and a nasal decongestant pill, I slept till around 12:00. That's when it started, the damn phone. It rang and rang and rang and RANG over and over. I didn't want to go pick it up! I was naked and snuggled comfortably in bed dreaming weird dreams about something or other. This person would not give the fuck up! They would call, let it ring 8-9 times, hang up, wait 1-2 minutes and then call right back and repeat the process. I finally got up to answer the damn thing and all it was... my room mate's (who wasn't even home) friend who wanted to talk... WHAT THE FUCK?!? Why would you do that? If someone doesn't pick up the first 1-2 times.. don't keep calling over and over and over! They are either not home or they don't want to talk! Is that so hard to grasp? Do you have nothing else to do all day but chat on the phone to the point where you must call repeatedly 9 times in a row?

I dealt with that and then hoped online for a little bit. I checked my e-mail, facebook, and all that good crap and then opted to go back to bed after a shot of dayquil at about 1:50. I slept pretty soundly until my room mate and her daughter came home. At which point I gave up on sleep and got up to get ready for work. I was only in for a short shift, 5-8, managed to get out 30 minutes early, since I wasn't able to do much without coughing my lungs out, even when I use the cough drops I bought.

The plan was for me to go to my mom's after work to make sugar cookies, but I had to nix those plans, as I doubt I would have enjoyed myself very much anyway. I think tomorrow will get here way too fast. I work 11-8 tomorrow and we have 190 pizzas to make by 1:00 for the end of school parties and all that jazz. Yuck.. It's going to be one hell of a long and miserable day tomorrow. So I'm turning in. Good night.

~Lazer

Current Mood: sick
Current Location: Some dazed version of reality
Current Music: The pounding in my head.

Entry tags:

6AM confessions of an infirm hyena

Well I woke up at almost exactly 6AM. My Niquill had worn off and it felt like someone was attempting to shove a large log up my nose, splintering with each shove. These are the times when all I want in life is my S/O here, then nothing else would matter. So they can wrap their arms around me and let me bury my face in their chest and whine and be miserable on them. Haha. I want my hair petted and my back rubbed and my medicine given to me like a little kid so I don't have to feel so responsible, I can just be sick and tired and not have to be a grown up. I want to curl up in a bed with their body heat beside me, it's so cold and lonely in this big ol' bed all by myself. My stuffed animals are nice to fill my arms, but they don't fill my void. When will things get better? When can we be together without the world judging our every move. I just want to be held and loved and warm and comforted. A little relief comes in that bottle of medication, but never comfort, and that is what I need the most when I am sick.

Maybe these things seem selfish, maybe they are selfish, I don't care. The niquil and nasal decongestant can't hug me and tell me it will be okay. It can't make me feel important even when all I really feel like is crawling under a rock and dying. Those medications won't pat my back when I cough, or bring me my orange juice or make me soup or give me that loving, sad look, when I look extra miserable. So yeah, maybe I'm a selfish child on the inside, but I'm okay with that. I think we all have a little selfish child inside of us demanding to be taken care of when we need it the most.

I'm going to crawl back in bed now and try to get some more sleep. I have to work tomorrow evening but at least it is a short shift. I will write about my day when I get home from work.

~Lazer

Current Mood: sick
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: Flobots - Handlebars

Entry tags:

I feel like someone slaughtered me from the inside out.

Well, this is my first official entry, technically... So let us get started.

Right now I am not feeling so well. My room mates have all been sick and now it has passed itself on to me. I feel as though I've been murdered from the inside out.. That or someone has raped my throat with a cheese grater, one or the other.. Or both. Of course this doesn't mean much, other than I'm going to be doped up on Night/Day meds and cough drops for the next week or so. I always seem to get sick around Christmas. Thankfully they had the meds buy one get one at my local Walgreens, so I did luck up there. They also had Progresso soup on sell for $0.99 a can, plus I had a $0.25 off cupon on it too.

That's what I did this morning before work, went and shopped at Walgreens for some stuff to get me through the day. I then went and opened the store, had to work with Louis all morning, which wasn't as terrible as it could have been I suppose, other than me having to bitch him out to take the boxes out to the box bin in the back of the store. After he lef things slowed down and I spent the rest of the boring day taking a few orders for the school on Thursday, and playing various games on my Nintendo DS, which I quickly grew bored with since I can't focus well when I'm sick.
I got out of work at 4:00 and went to the post office to mail a letter. After that it was straight home where I spent some time with my S/O before they had to go back home, a few towns over. I went with my Dad on the trip. After that I stopped by Taco Bell and broke my diet for a Crunchwrap.. We don't have TacoBell where I live and I love those damn things so hard core... I'll feel guilty later on...
After that I came home, hopped online, and got back to work on this here DreamWidth. I uploaded my icons, and made an intro post. I will go to bed before too long, I have to work again tomorrow. I can't wait until payday on Friday.

Also, My cat has a broken back leg, he just came home yesterday and is, thankfully, getting better at walking with it splinted up... He looks so weird with his little shaved leg and thigh though. I will keep you all updated on his progress, he will be going back to the vet on January 4th in order for them to look him over again, and hopefully remove his splint.

Current Mood: nervous
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: G-Dragon - Wassup

Entry tags:

An intoduction

Welcome to my new DreamWidth. I'm not sure how often this will be updated.. But I will try to keep the posts here relevant to SOMETHING, instead of the little blurbs I post on my livejournal. I will try to keep this updated with real life events, maybe pictures when I can, and possibly my art when I can get it uploaded, haha.

I hope to meet interesting people here on Dreamwidth who share similar interests with myself. I will leave this journal public, unlike my LJ, with only some friends locked posts and filters. If you want to watch my journal feel free. Don't feel bad if I do not always watch you back. I may not know you, or not think we have anything in common. Don't take offense, I may friends watch you back if we get along well enough.

Well.. We'll see how this goes!