Dec. 16th, 2009

lazer: Vaga looking depressed (Sad or depressed.)
Well I woke up at almost exactly 6AM. My Niquill had worn off and it felt like someone was attempting to shove a large log up my nose, splintering with each shove. These are the times when all I want in life is my S/O here, then nothing else would matter. So they can wrap their arms around me and let me bury my face in their chest and whine and be miserable on them. Haha. I want my hair petted and my back rubbed and my medicine given to me like a little kid so I don't have to feel so responsible, I can just be sick and tired and not have to be a grown up. I want to curl up in a bed with their body heat beside me, it's so cold and lonely in this big ol' bed all by myself. My stuffed animals are nice to fill my arms, but they don't fill my void. When will things get better? When can we be together without the world judging our every move. I just want to be held and loved and warm and comforted. A little relief comes in that bottle of medication, but never comfort, and that is what I need the most when I am sick.

 Maybe these things seem selfish, maybe they are selfish, I don't care. The niquil and nasal decongestant can't hug me and tell me it will be okay. It can't make me feel important even when all I really feel like is crawling under a rock and dying. Those medications won't pat my back when I cough, or bring me my orange juice or make me soup or give me that loving, sad look, when I look extra miserable. So yeah, maybe I'm a selfish child on the inside, but I'm okay with that. I think we all have a little selfish child inside of us demanding to be taken care of when we need it the most.

I'm going to crawl back in bed now and try to get some more sleep. I have to work tomorrow evening but at least it is a short shift. I will write about my day when I get home from work.


lazer: Kyo being pouty! (pouty face)
After I went back to bed shortly after 6:20, with a shot of niquil and a nasal decongestant pill, I slept till around 12:00. That's when it started, the damn phone. It rang and rang and rang and RANG over and over. I didn't want to go pick it up! I was naked and snuggled comfortably in bed dreaming weird dreams about something or other. This person would not give the fuck up! They would call, let it ring 8-9 times, hang up, wait 1-2 minutes and then call right back and repeat the process. I finally got up to answer the damn thing and all it was... my room mate's (who wasn't even home) friend who wanted to talk... WHAT THE FUCK?!? Why would you do that? If someone doesn't pick up the first 1-2 times.. don't keep calling over and over and over! They are either not home or they don't want to talk! Is that so hard to grasp? Do you have nothing else to do all day but chat on the phone to the point where you must call repeatedly 9 times in a row?

 I dealt with that and then hoped online for a little bit. I checked my e-mail, facebook, and all that good crap and then opted to go back to bed after a shot of dayquil at about 1:50. I slept pretty soundly until my room mate and her daughter came home. At which point I gave up on sleep and got up to get ready for work. I was only in for a short shift, 5-8, managed to get out 30 minutes early, since I wasn't able to do much without coughing my lungs out, even when I use the cough drops I bought.

 The plan was for me to go to my mom's after work to make sugar cookies, but I had to nix those plans, as I doubt I would have enjoyed myself very much anyway. I think tomorrow will get here way too fast. I work 11-8 tomorrow and we have 190 pizzas to make by 1:00 for the end of school parties and all that jazz. Yuck.. It's going to be one hell of a long and miserable day tomorrow. So I'm turning in. Good night.



lazer: Lazer, looking sexy. (Default)

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